| carpe diem. |
[Jul. 25th, 2006|10:10 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | homeeeee | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | angels and airwaves | ] |
my car broke down.
blah.
BUT, there is always an upside to the down.
we are going car shopping this afternoon.
oh yay.
myspace is down.
my addiction has become somewhat of a serious problem in the fact that i spend way to long on this computer looking at other people's lives.
i have found i am not alone however. i guess that makes it okay.
scott's moving soon.
august 3rd to be exact.
i still dont know how i feel.
you know me, once he's gone ill probably miss him like crazy.
its sad it takes losing someone to really appreciate having them in your life
:[
i love my friends.
but i have been very irritable lately.
i feel bad.
hooka tomorrow night though for koral's late birthday.
hopefully i can find some kindness deep down inside of me.
because this realllyyyy needs to stop.
even though i do have reasons.
like the fact that one of my friends needs to figure out what the f@%& she wants.
yikes.
summer is almost over.
im not sure if thats a good or a bad thing.
probably good in the sense that it will no longer be too hot to even walk outside.
i want to skate.
i think i will.
bye for now. |
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| nothing interesting |
[Nov. 20th, 2005|09:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothinggggg | ] |
so im in portland right now. visiting family and stuff.
my cousin says only emo kids write in livejourals.. haha to talk about all their problems and slitting their wrists and stuff. ha. so. im emo now. good joke.
it hasnt been too interesting here so far. harry potter though. yeck yes. im lovin it.
its freezing here too. its like 3 below zero in the middle of the day and you can only guess how cold it is at night. hot chocolate has become my best friend. im sad i am missing so much tho. who would have ever thought i would miss things in escalon. i am getting my formal dress tomorrow yay. and then at some point i will go shopping for christmas presents and such. whoo i know you are jealous.
on tuesday i am going to look at u of o when i pick up my cousin. i highly doubt i will find myself going to school there but it doesnt hurt to keep your options open you know? speaking of that, my personal statements for uc's are taking me forever. its a good thing i can send in one application for all four of them that i am applying to. man i just want to get this overwith |
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| todaY tomoRRow and the neXt |
[Nov. 11th, 2005|02:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | unsure | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nelly | ] |
alright, so ya, my obsession with myspace has become just ridiculous and i need to just stooooop. so, im my attempt to drag myself away, i am writing in here.
i have been trying to figure out how i feel lately. you know when you go through those phases where you are happy one second and not the next and you just keep pissing yourself off because you are so moody and its just getting ANNOYING! well, if you dont, thats how i feel and it pretty much sucks. i must say however, that there are a number of reasons i should be happy right now.
1. its a freakin three day weekend and its gonna be bomb, even if it refuses to be, i will make it.
2. in exactly a week i will be in a different state, visiting all of the people that i miss and temporarily forgetting all the crap i have to be stressed about.
3. jess and b are coming to portland to visit me while im there. its weird though, it seems like we almost never knew eachother... like we are total strangers that are having a reunion for.. what?... their lives are so different now, i am not saying mine has remained unchanged but its hard to pretend like nothing is different. i miss them too much.
4. i am really happy with just things in general though. i feel so much closer to all the people that i WANT to be close to and everyone one else doesnt matter. i like it that way. i like being in control of how things are for ME.
things i am sad about:
1. i am sick. cold sick. but sick none the less.
2. i have to visit chris's grave next week. i want to so badly, to talk to him and all, but i dont want to... almost more. i think i might go alone and not bring jess and b like i was going to. there are just some things you have to do alone, i think this is one of them.
3. alright.. the big one... the one i cant get off my mind.
i feel horrible. i feel like i am betraying him. because i dont want to like another guy yet. okay, its been two freaking years. i know i know i know. but i dont know if i am ready to give my heart to someone else. i think its wrong, wrong for me. it hurts to bad and im scared. im so stupid to be scared but i am and i am trying to avoid it. to avoid my feelings. but how do you avoid something that is constantly there?! im so stupid for feeling so trapped, but i dont know what to do.
4. college. enough said. i feel so behind. ahh
okay. my thoughts, soul, and emotions poured out and splashed onto this journal thing. there you go. eat your heart out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2005|04:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
the best freakin day of my liiiiife. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2005|07:43 am] |
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i am going to marry him. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|06:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | relient k (i freakn love it) | ] |
describe your life in one word.... can you?
unpredictable?
describe yourself in one word... can you?
bi-polar... ha
im so stressed out. i dont know how i will make it through this year without an anxiety attack. i hate college but i have dreamt about it since practically the moment i was born. why does getting out of this shitty town have to be so stressful?
does anyone else find it weird how you hear a song and you automatically relate it to yourself? even if its just like 5 words of the song you still feel special bc you feel like connected, like they wrote it just for you....
does anyone else ever really start to like someone and then when they show the slightest bit of interest in you, you decide that you dont anymore? its like you are only in it for the game and you never want what you can actually have.
alright well i just needed to see if i am alone in my thoughts haha. sometimes its not so bad to relate to others..... i guess
well bye for now |
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| weeK2 |
[Aug. 27th, 2005|06:00 pm] |
the second week definatly went better than the first. not terribly better, but better. i really need to keep my grades up and stay focused on school for one more year... man oh man its getting tough.
kat is back at school. she is doing better. i think her family is too. the funeral was horrible on monday. i really have a hard time in cemetarys... its even worse when you have to watch someone being burried there. i really love that family and i will always be there for them.
tonite we are going to perkos haha. i cant wait. tomrow nite should be great to. the vines and then camping at britts. ariannas tomorrow nite too haha. heck of a nite huh?! okay well im gonna go. love u all (this is really a bad entry sorry) |
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| doeS anYone wRiTe in heRe aNymoRe?! |
[Aug. 22nd, 2005|09:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | yellowcard | ] |
so this has been the most horrible first week of school i have ever had in my life.... i have moved schools, lost people i loved, and tons of other horrible things but OH NO my senior year has to start out the shitiest yet.... i am lost for words.
first there was volleyball. fuck volleyball. seriously. my love for that sport is most definatly dead. thank you to all the people that killed that one for me. then there is kat... what did she do to deserve all this pain. there family is suffering so bad right now and its so hard to watch them and know that there is nothing you can do to help except just be there. then there is the fact that i need a job and the pressure is buILDING UP INSIDE me to just get one so that my parents can stop giving me money. they make me feel so terrible sometimes i hate it.
i dnt knwo what i would do without my friends. i know a ton of people say that all the time but i am really sincere, they keep my going and on most days i dont think i would even go to school without them there... so to all my friends i love you and thanks for being there! :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 3rd, 2005|07:49 pm] |
vOLLeYbaLL camP + sWiM iNstRucTiNG + mORe vBaLL camP + sChooL shOppiNG + suMmer homewoRk + nEw cLoThes + LoTs oF sLeeP + gOiNg tO coLd sToNE/ baSkiN roBiNs anD embaRaSsiNG kORaL, aLLee, aND kaC hAha + NiTes oUT oN tHe toWn juST dRiVin aRouND anD bein coOL = mY LaSt weeK
hoPe suMmeRs goiN goOd aLL :) <3 |
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| sWimming aFter sunseT |
[Jul. 22nd, 2005|10:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fresh prince haha | ] |
this summer has been insane//its weird how you can change so much in so little time.. although i feel like i have been living at the swimming pool its okay, i have also got to do a lot and i have found out a lot about myself. i leave for portland in about 2 weeks to do some school shopping and see my family. im kinda depressed that kacey cant come with me but i guess i cant have it all.
heres my last month in crammed and undetailed list:
beach for my bday with koral, allee, and the love of my life, kacey. the freakn best time i have ever had and our first real roadtrip (we have many more coming!) getting lost, cooking our own food, and just laying out on the beach, nothing better
a couple of trips to the lake and santa cruz with allee- we have gotten a lot closer this summer and i really like it. shes so fun to hang out with and i love britt too :)
a couple of parties here and there just to liven things up haha cant be summer without a few of those
park fete= one word: CRAZY,, haha i had so much fun tho, not to mention i got to hang out with furious and stephie again and it was just like old times. i love those girls
swimming and watching movies with my gertie at least 3 times a week. oh how i love that girl and i would do anything for her.
great times at the pool with all the crew getting sunburnt and breaking in to go skinny dipping hahaha- i love my job
kaceys sisters wedding___ just imagine watching ur chemistry teacher dance and you will know how much fun i had! :) hahaha
((suMMEr LoVe)) haha enough said there........
and now my trip to portland and volleyball camp and everthing to get ready for school including all that summer homework i have put off.... dont you all just feel sorry for me??! haha im sure you dont
by the way i think its rather funny how i forget i have this and then i remember and write everyone a novel bc i try to cram everything in! haha well i hope you are all enjoying summer LOVE |
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| aNoTher suNNy daY iN caLi-fOrn-i-A |
[Jun. 9th, 2005|12:05 am] |
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suMMer is GreaT-LifeGauRdiNG iS sO LaiDbaCk& i aBsoLuTeLY LoVe iT-i LoVe LoVe Love mY bEst fRieNd-The LaKe iS goNNa bE kiCk aSs neXt weeK-iT raiNeD LaSt niTe bUT i doNT caRe-mY graNdpaRenTS aRe viSiTinG fRom oRegOn-iM goiNG tO gO siT iN bLakE n bRoCks hoT tuB LatER hAha-iM haVinG jaMba wiTHdRaWLs-iM eXtRemELY haPPy fOR 2 oF mY fRiENdS thAT had bEen NoT taLkinG aNd iT wAs hoRribLE anD noW its aLL geTinG bettER... iT makEs me wAnT tO sinG in thE stReeTs-i LoVe sumMer-aLLee mErseTh iS maRveLouS anD sO iS her faMiLY, i LoVe theM aLL-mY bDaY iS iN 13 daYs- bRiTts bDay iS iN 6 daYs aND wE aRe goiN tO miKes tO ceLebRaTe yAy-i gET mY neW ceLL pHOne fridaY! OKaY weLL thaTs eNouGh foR nOW LOve u aLL |
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| sUmmEr n sHiT |
[May. 30th, 2005|10:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | reLienTk | ] |
sO muCH tO uPdaTe n sO LittLe timE....
weLL gUEsS whAT?? iTS sUMMER! hAha tWo fULL moNThS oFf oF sCHooL n i Am dEdiCatinG iT tO weLL... wHAteVer coMEs aLonG tO makE iT thE beST summER eVER! i aM aLSo uP tO eXpLorinG mY paRtYinG pOteNtaiLs thiS yeaR... Live iT uP riGHT??
well anyways, graduation was a fun nite. me britt allee n kac hung out most the nite and had fun. man i am gonna miss some of those seniors (notice how i say some) but i am officially even more excited to finally be a "spifflicated" senior myself, i must say.
the boys playoff game is tomorow at one and you all must go so get up off ur asses n have some freakn school spirit. loL
i havent been on here in a while, i guess its bc there hasnt been anything terribly interesting to write about haha. most of the end of the school year drama has passed and i could not be happier for that. all i can say is "HoEs oVer bRoS" remember that.
friday is my first day for lifeguarding and im a lil nervous, okay so im not really but i guess i say that bc i think i should be nervous haha
and.. it makes me sad how EVERYONE and their daMN MOM is getting new cars.... :( i want one.... my birthday is coming up but im definatly not holding my breath...
okay well megan needs a shower (TMI ANYONE??) so everyone have a good nite and dont wake up at 2:30am every nite like me ever since i freakn watched white noise, DAMN i HATE movies like that haha |
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| sUCkY eNTRy |
[May. 15th, 2005|12:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  restless | ] |
| [ | music |
| | bOy MeEts WoRLd | ] |
i dNt kNoW wHAt tO wRiTe iN thiS eNtRy....
mY fRiDaY tHE 13tH wAs nOt gOod. wELL, tHE niTe wAs bEttER bC kaC n mE hAd fUn bUt sChoOL sUcKed. wEnT tO cLaYtON miLLeRS sUrPriSE bdAy pArTy hAha iT wAs tHE wEirDeST fUN iVe hAd iN a WhiLe LeTs juST saY... fIRst oFf tHEre wEre liKe 5 ppL tHERe aT 8 anD i CoULd tELL hiS mOM wAs wOrriEd ppL weRENT goNNa CoMe So i sTaRteD caLLiNG raNdOM pPL hAHahA it wAs FunNy loL kaC mE paM n moRgAn juST pRetTy muCh maDe FooLs ouTa oURsELvES tHE wHoLe niTe bC wE tRieD dANciNg hAhA, aCtuALLY eVEryONe eLSE daNCeD aND i jST tRieD loL. oH i aLsO woN $5 oN tHE "gUeSs tHE eYes" gAmE hAHaha whO tHE heCk iS LisA mAriE pReSsLY aNyWaYs?! loL goOD thiNG i goTs kaCeY baLL loL
weLL thEN thiS moRninG gERtiE muST bE ruBBiN oFf oN mE bC i goT uP aT 8 (YES 8!!) aND wE wEnT tO wAtCh mY LiTtLE siSeRS soFtbaLL gaMe. iT wAs fuN, thOSe dOnUTs kEPt mE aWaKe. wE eVen sWuNG oN tHE SwiNG whiCH wAs a bLaSt bC i Love SWiNgs.
weLL, thiS eNTry iS uTtERLY bOriNG anD pOiNTLesS i kNOw. toDay i aM gonNa gO tO baRnEs n NoBLe bC i hAve gOTs soME hW tO dO... i thiNk i nEed tO go bY mYseLF sO I aCtuALLY gOT SOmeTHing dONE... hAHaha u kNOw mE, mS. aDD
wELL i doNT knoW wHAT eLse tO sAY, eXcePt fOr thAT i miSs sTEph. vERy vErY muCH, She dOESNT eVeN caRE, iT hUrTS sO baD bC i doNT kNoW wHAT tO dO. i aLwYS fiX iT anD i wANT hER tO caRE, i wANt hER to fiX iT thiS tiMe. iM sCaREd ThiS wiLL gO oN fOReVer..... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 12th, 2005|04:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | miXes | ] |
heLLo everyone. oh and i must start my entry off by telling ms. gregory i am very jealous of her adverturism seeing that everyone else her age is IN SCHOOL! hahaha im just kidding i luv you rebel
okay so ya, last weekend was good. friday nite was interesting.... hahaha and i must say sorry to mac bc she was the one who had to squish in between my legs in the car all nite! hahaha
i did a lot in my room this weekend. i still need to cover up scottie. in case you are all wondering scottie is the 10 ft tall cowboy that is painted on my wall. haha kacey and i named him scottie bc he "doesnt know" loL (we are fans of eurotrip) so ya, but i am gonna get some cork board and put it over him i think... its gonna be fun bc i told kac she could splatter paint it haha
but anyways, i am excited for summer and lifegaurding! you will all have to come and visit the pool! (steph you can come in your necklace... hahaha) i am also excited for the college trip that i am taking with my mom. i invited kacey and her mom to come but im not sure if they are gonna or not. i really want to look at san diego state, uc santa barbara, uCLa (big stretch i know), and a few others down south. i really want to be by the beach and preferably close to LA. man, graduation is only a year away... its insane... i cant wait though, its like you wait so long for it and then i am sure next year is going to literally fly by. okay well thats all for now. more later im sure
LOVE |
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| "doNt LooK baCk uNtiLL yOU aRe faR eNOuGH aHeaD tO reALizE iT wAs bEtTEr aNywAY" |
[May. 8th, 2005|11:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | high | ] |
| [ | music |
| | good charlotte | ] |
okay so its been forever i know. its weird how little i get on here compared to like 2 months ago.
well this last week has definatly had its ups and downs. im sure i have said this before, but its so strange how you love things one day and hate them the next. its like God looks down on you and says no no no you are TOO DAMN HAPPY! i dont know... i just want perfection and its never gonna happen i guess.
well i will say that water wars this week were a blast despite losing... sorry we got "oh so randomly" paired with one of the best damn teams doing it! haha we had everything from car chases, drive bys, pizza deliveries, super genius plans, a lot of screaming, balloons poping in the car, and more laughter than you can ever imagine. haha too bad they were all WRONG!! psshhh yes koral and i are FKn prOS and you underestimated us! just say it... if marcus wasnt faster than water we would have had him too! loL we did do a LOT of sitting in front of DJs house though... hahaha i dont care i had fun and thats all that matters.
friday nite was fun too. went to riverside which was okay but i just liked hanging out. i have had two weekends of drinking! i decided i am taking the next one off. thats right, DD baby. gotta keep my friends safe bc they do the same for me.
well, i am feeling kinda blah today. last nite i was kinda bored i felt extremely lame bc i havent been home on a saturday nite just sitting ther in like a freakn year! i drove to oakdale at about 10 and went to Kmart haha and bought a chapstick! haha but it was still fun. then i came home and looked at all these pictures that i found and old yearbooks from my elementary school days... wow it just gets you to thnking... its so weird bc you wonder how your life, how YOU, would be if you still lived in those places. all of my friends, the ones i grew up with, have changed so much now.... i guess everything happens for a reason and i was supposed to end up here...
im tired of thinking to tell you all the truth... i want to just sit and be brain dead for a day and not wonder what others are thinking, or how they are gonna react, or how this choice is gonna effect things. i want to just be care-free. i say this with ease, but it is extremely hard.. you dont believe me? try it and you will see
p.s. i got lifegaurding! yaY! all you guys gotta come and visit the pool this summer so we can keep you safe! |
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| i aiNt nO hOLLa bAcK giRL... |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|06:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | geeky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | skye sweetnam | ] |
so i update like 2wice a week and its probably pretty comical how i cram 4 days worth of events into one entry but oh well haha
last weekend was good, blake and brocks friday nite was fun. swimmin in a pool that is minus 20 degrees is always great at 11 oclock at nite haha but hmm.. i felt kinda weird.. but we wont go into that bc its boring
lifeguarding started this weekend n lets just say that megan's a little bit out of shape hahaha (thats an understatement if you didnt catch it) i do compare myself to the supreme athlete however haha kacey is a pro at everything... loL but i am definatly gonna be in shape after this summer and hopefully tan loL bc i will have lifegaurding/my new gym/volleyball camps/beach volleyball in capitola with stephie/summer ball for basketball. so ya, lots n lots of EXCERCISE!!! haha there is nothing better to get your mind off the shit that life brings ya loL and hopefuly i can fit a flight to washingtonia into that busy schedule... if not i guess they will have to get their asses down here bc i really miss them...
we found a wonderul house in escalon!!! YES i am so freakn excited my room is entirely packed hahaha i swear i want to get into this thing RIGHT NOW! haha we are moving in this weekend! oh good God. you people have no idea how great this is.... SO GREAT
hmm oh yes i finally gave in, got a dress, and bought a ticket to go to prom with the most wonderful person in the world haha OH YES ms. kacey ball and i are prom dates loL i know you are jealous
kac me allee and danielle are gonna be the fab four on prom nite loL its gonna be fun though, i am actually excited (yes this coming from the girl who didnt even want to go!) haha so ya its gonna be a rush to get ready and do everything but we are going to dinner at the elephant bar i guess bc toni cut lifegaurding short (YES YES YES) haha so that we would have enough time whoOhOO
so ya, thats my week so far in a nut shell- more details but hey, who wants to here those anyways? well jack n bobbys on tonite love u all |
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| ur kiss might kill me.. |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|01:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | muLTi | ] |
hOLA. SO THE LAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN GOOD. EXTREMELY GOOD BC GOOD IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. YESTERDAY WAS AN UDDER AND COMPLETE BLAST. IT CONSISTED OF SCHOOL (NOT THE BEST PART BUT OH WELL) THEN RIGHT AFTER I CAME HOME AND KAT CALLED AND WE WERE GONNA RELIVE THE OLD DAYS OF JUMPIN AND PLAYIN IN THE RAIN BC WE HAD MANY OF THEM. SO THEN WE WENT AND WE HAD TO CHASE THE RAIN BC IT KEPT MOVING! HAHA THEN WE HEARD THEIR WAS A TORNADO WARNING AND THAT WAS ABOUT THE COOLEST THING EVER FOR US SO WE TRIED TO FIND THAT. I WOULD HAVE TO SAY OUR LUCK WASNT THE BEST BUT WE HAD A BLAST JUST SINGIN AND DRIVIN AROUND ANYWAYS. GREAT FUN
then last night kac, me, paige, mac, blake, and brock all went to johns incredible pizza! haha oh how i love that lil crew we have started... we had so much freakn fun! (except for the part where they all decided to shove me under the table! ahhh it was scary!) but ya and i won some tokens loL bc i put in a quarter and it gave me like 20! and we all took turns on the dancing game haha it was great. blake and brock have got to be the funniest ppl in the world... whoever says hanging out with underclassmen is gay can suck it bc i LOVE them haha
today kac n me are goin shoppin for our bathing suits for lifegaurding woot! haha and tonite ms. allee merseth and myself have a date planned to go and see the bEAUtiful play that escalon high is putting on. it shall be fun. AND as if the rest hasnt been enough, tomrow nite i have been invited to a 3way birthday party! haha im not sure if my mom is gonna let me goo.. but i hope so!
okay well this entry is far too long already so i loVE you aLL
austa |
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| tANgERinEs aNyONe?? |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|10:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | iROBoT | ] |
so much to say, well saturday nite was a blast. it was so kool to hang out with a different group of ppl than normal.. like a refreshing nite out ya know? well bev, mac, blake and i went bowling in manteca and had a blast. first we went to baskin and robbins then we went to meet kac and andy and cody but they were already done so we just enjoyed the nite. love those guys
yesterday turned out to be so much fun2. the morning started off good with some waffles (complements of ms. kacey ball) loL and then it got kinda bad bc my cell phone still wont work.. then i freakn like had a spasum while driving with kacey in the car and i feel horrible bc i think i scared her to death. i looked down at the ipod for one second and then before i know it we are doing the whole "off-roading" thing again.. loL it is funny now but it was definatly the cause of my first heart attack
well then kac and i were just hangin out and kat was on the internet so we invited her over to my house and we hung out for a lil. then we decided that we were gonna go and get some tangerines bc thats what the cool people do haha even though there are no more tangerines.. "so how many tangerines did you bring home?" "umm three grapefruits!" haha
so then we hung out with little michael for a while and watched then make their video. at like six we were still lookin for some action so we decided to just cruise around and go over railroad tracks! haha so we spent the nite causing havic and just listening to music and singing our lungs out. it was a blast, non stop laughter let me tell ya
well ya so that was good. today i am home alone yaY for me. its kinda boring though... i am so tired i just want to lay around on my last day of spring break..
p.S. kat and i had a good long talk last nite.. talking is good, talking about the old days is even better. its weird how our wishes always exceed reality. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 1st, 2005|03:35 pm] |
baCK from vacation! haha i know you are all cheering right now haha
it was a great time but i missed my friends. mansenia (prolly spelled wrong) is the prettiest and most unwellknown place i have ever been too haha
well tonite stephie is taking me to dinner ((haha i know we are dating loL)) then we are gonna go and see beauty shop bc it looks awesome. i love that we are spending time together... i am have virginia withdrawls... loL :)
tomorrow kac and i are gonna work on her wall i think loL yaY
then do who knows what and have loads of fun like always
thank you kat for taking care of my fish while we were gone i<3yoU
and i juST spent 8 hours in the car and i feel totally refreshed! its funny how that much music can bring a whole new perspective on live... joY for MuSIc! loL what a wonderful thing...
well its shower time im out AUSTA
p.s. danielle! loL when are we camping?? call me senorita loL <3 |
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| mY heARt iS on mY sLEEve |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|03:11 pm] |
"i almost wrote a song about you today.... but i tore it all up and then i threw it away! n i almost had you... but i guess that doesnt cut it...
u kept me guessin n now im destined to spend my time missin you
i almost wish you would have loved me too..."
vacation is a great time to get away from the things that keep you on the edge, but i have found in the last few days that no matter how far away you are, your heart can still feel when something is wrong and you are right back in that little town once again...
would you rather die knowing that you never loved and no one ever loved you or leave the ones that you love in complete misery bc you know that they cant make it without you?
would you rather have one great and perfect week or have an entire lifetime of tears and hurt?
would you rather fall in love with everyone (even the ones you know you shouldnt and that are going to hurt you) or never fall in love at all?
are any of these logical questions? no, they really arent. they are all things that are either going to happen or not. you cant choose one or the other. thats how most things that we WISH we could change are i guess...
all i have to say is that boYS are overrated..... |
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secrets_lie_too's journal